I Am Thankful for War

pink handlebars with the silver streamers

“believe in yourself, don’t be a dreamer”

try as I might, I thought I took flight

suddenly my knees hit the concrete,

you look at me and my scrapes so sweet

your eyes told me it’s okay, you’re proud of me anyway

then you wipe the blood away.

brushing my hair into ponytails,

“shirt matched the shoes, can’t you tell?”

eager as I seemed, my school was mean

I ran off the bus with my face still flushed,

you look at me and my aches with ease

your eyes told me it’s okay, they’re losers anyway

then you wipe the tears away.

I always wondered who I would’ve been,

would I have given my body to the lion’s den?

would I still be covered in all your sin?

would I still look at you like I do all men?

one day I came home and see in-view

between the cracked door sat you two,

“you’re the faulter, go be with your daughter”

it happened so fast, she packed up her bags

your eyes told me there’s nothing left to say

I saw you start wiping memories away…

why did you wipe it all away?

I believe in myself, but I’m still a dreamer,

can’t you tell the words I write are how I still remember

that it’s all my fault, that’s why I’m still your daughter…

but you wiped it all away.

why did you wipe it all away?

I heard of a new family,

do you ever think of me?

I heard of a new daughter

do you ever see me in her?

or did you wipe it all away?

the question passes day by day…

I sit in this mess but just can’t wipe it all away.